Jersey: Alright Glen,
It’s go time
Glen: Uh Jersey, always remember,
Never stop pedaling
I read it on a pedicab bumper sticker.
Jersey: Oh god I did it again
I think I’m in over my head
Not now, not this one,
Matter fact I think I got this one
So don’t tell me what I can’t do
I’mma peddle like this bike was brand new
The snakes need to get up outta here
A 40 year old snake I do not fear
The road ahead is uphill
More than strength I need just sheer will
Hardest road I’ve been down
Wish my folks could see me right now
Oh I’m proud of who I am
And win or lose I don’t give a damn
Yea you can write me down
As the man who raced a snake just for his crown
Dad, what can I do for you?
Oh, Jackleen, there’s not much left in the old boy.
Dad, if you lose, where are we gonna go?
Wherever Uber and Lyft went.
Oh no. Please dad, push through it
This hill is kicking my arse.
Why did I agree to this?
How far the mighty fall?
It doesn’t feel like me at all
I can’t lose, can’t give up
I’m royalty and he’s a chump
I’m Robert freaking Laroux
Been pedicabbing since 2002
I’ve snaked in all 50 states
Snaking from New Orleans to the Golden state
I was liking Austin
Why’d I go and do this again
Uproot my family
And I wonder why they hate me
Oh, why am I so damn proud
Or at least I sound that way out loud
Yea when will this race end?
So my next one can begin
Just give it up old man
Hunny, distract him
Jackleen? What are you his nurse or something?
I’m his daughter
Look, Jersey, I’ve been snaking you this whole time. I’m a snake. It’s literally my middle name. I don’t want to leave Austin. Please don’t win.
Oh, I’m so torn up about it
Cause if I let him win, then he’ll just snake again
What has this all been for? Thought I was waging war
Oh, then there’s that unwritten rule
It seems to outweigh the others
I’m really about to do this.
I’m gonna lose this race for this girl.